Monday, September 29, 2014

 Love: For the Health of It

“Men give love for sex: women give sex for love.” –Unknown/Anonymous




Health Benefits of Having Loving Relationships:
Love brings about emotions of which laughter is but one. Laughter is medicine.
Research shows acts of love neutralize negative emotions that harmfully affect your immune, endocrine, and cardiovascular functions.
Cancer survivors (studies have shown) healed better and faster from treatment when a strong family bond existed. Loving family connections and close-friend(s) bonding created noticeable and healthful results.
Prolonged hugging and hand holding (even from non-romantic pairings) provides the bonding intimacy necessary for health benefits.
Platonic relationships where extended hugs and copious touching are discouraged still benefit from back pats, shoulder squeezes, and arm rubs. Stress hormones will lessen and human connection increases.

MIT Sloan School of Management (researchers) found that men are more likely to say “I love you” first.

Health Benefits of Being “in” Love:
Drop in blood pressure, longer life span, drop in cortisol* levels (when together; rises during separation), keeps wits sharp, lessens depression (especially in women), brain health improvement (in couples who socialized together especially with other couples), stress diminished through power of spouse’s touch, oxytocin** released during cuddling/hugging/sex (plays role in social bonding & has tremendous effect on cardiovascular system), improved agility and muscle control (through frequent sex), less pain (head and muscle aches) due to sex and increased blood circulation and movement. And for men specifically, frequent sexual activity throughout their lives has shown a reduction in prostate cancer later in life.


*Cortisol
The principal steroid hormone produced by the adrenal cortex. It regulates 
carbohydrate metabolism and the immune system and maintains blood pressure. When natural or synthetic cortisol is used as a pharmaceutical, it is known as hydrocortisone.
**Oxytocin

A neuropeptide that stimulates contraction in the uterus for childbirth and mammary ducts for milk production. This same hormone (the feel-good hormone) increases overall happiness and sense of wellbeing. It is increased through cuddling, holding, and sexual intimacy. It is known as a bonding hormone as it bonds mother to child and woman to man.

Studies have shown…
~Frequent huggers had lower blood pressure.
~The health benefits of marriage were cancelled out by divorce and death; the participants had worse health issues than individuals who had never been married.
~Blister Test/Study: couples were given blisters and their healing progression was monitored. The couples who were happy & loving healed faster than the couples who were hostile to one another and/or in depressed relationships.


Learn about the Opposite Sex for Better Relationships:
+Learn the differences in men and women to improve your relationships with them; spouse, parent, child, friend, or employer!
+Enjoy what he/she brings to your life rather than compete with him/her. Appreciate the opposite as a complement to your life.
+Communicate what you feel, don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Shame on the person who exploits your open honesty!
+Don’t play tit for tat—give freely, expecting nothing in return and animosity won’t grow. Be prudent, though—don’t be a doormat, either.
+Do support your partner’s interests and participate in them—bonding will occur. Things that light them up have a way of warming your fires, too.
+Don’t say or ask for something expecting something else to come about—your spouse cannot read minds, for that matter, neither can the rest of us!

Two great books (and their websites) explaining love and its many complexities for men and women as individuals:

“The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”  Dr. Gary Chapman     http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

“Men are from Mars Women are from Venus”  Dr. John Gray     www.marsvenus.com

Many books have been written on the subject of love and marriage from every perspective imaginable. I chose these two because they deal with men and women as men and women--we are different! Also, because love is good for you...it requires work to make it work and good texts are the tools along with a willing heart and mind. Love Languages learned will help you with every relationship you have, not just romantic coupling.
Be well~